Obama's invitation to health care summit players that the public never saw(satire)

2 weeks before the much anticipated health care summit, Rahm Emanuel sent out letters/invitations to Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi and the Republicans on what would be discussed and what was expected from participants.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senator Harry Reid, and republicans

This letter is an invitation requiring your presence at a bipartisan meeting that the President will hold at the Blair House February 25,2010. We expect everyone will be in attendance and this letter lays out my genuine and honest thoughts about this meeting and what the President hopes to accomplish.

Even though we would never admit this to the American public, we recognize without bias that the American people in majority numbers hate and despise our health care reform legislation. So what! We won, get over it!

We believe Americans do not want this program, so it is up to both majorities in the House and the Senate to ram this legislation down their throat while picking taxpayer pockets.

Even though this health reform we have worked on all year is unsustainable in the long run, we need to move with urgency to pass this bill before I lose the majorities I enjoy in both Houses of Congress. Granted, the majorities have not really helped me much but that is due to some of the spineless blue dogs and moderates that have infected the Democrat/Progressive/Liberal party. I will continue to chide, admonish and embarrass these whiners and moaners during the coming weeks.

We have a great talking point right off the bat with the health premium increase in California by Blue Cross. The increase as reported will be over 39%. We believe with this program we can keep that same increase below 45%.

Of course the voters are raising h-e-double hockey sticks about our party increasing the national debt by 30% in the last 13 months. Hey, it is what it is. Democrats need to inform their constituency that if they would quit whining and find a job then their taxes would keep these deficits from getting out of hand.

As we noted this week, if we don’t act on comprehensive health insurance reform, then there will be a great number of working Americans who will be very happy, and we can’t have that if those who are chronically out of work are not happy also.

Everyone should be happy even if that means 70% of the population is unhappy. That is a fair a just policy we can believe in.

Premiums will continue to rise for folks with insurance, especially government sponsored health insurance. Millions more will lose their coverage altogether because small businesses will abdicate their responsibility of providing health care to their employees. This is our master plan and it will succeed with very little effort on our part, since we own the rule book and can change the rules anytime we wish. God I love power!

We hope that being the main provider of health insurance, we will be able to push insurance companies out of the picture and possibly out of business within 2-3 years and then we will own the whole enchilada.

Gradually the American people will come around to the reality that the government is the sole provider of health insurance, and bureaucrats will dictate to all those enrolled what doctors, clinics and hospitals to go to when they experience sickness. If you are really sick, don't even think about getting coming down to the clinic.

I believe that our deceitfully written 2000 page behemoth of a health bill will be so hard to decipher that most will give up trying to honestly understand it and just pay the piper. That is how all other taxes and "fees" have been implemented before. Hit 'em with government gibberish to the point where they (taxpayers) feel ignorant and just wind up trusting us to do the right thing.Silly taxpayers, he he.

The Democrats have spent countless hours behind closed doors away from prying eyes to craft a bill with special interest groups such as the AFL-CIO, SEIU, NEA, Black Panthers, AARP. These meeting I am told have been fruitful and worthy of the time spent in the Bahamas, Costa Rico, Switzerland, Hawaii, etc.. at these lobbyist sponsored junkets.

We would like invited Republicans to please arrive 2 hours early to help set up chairs and tables and set out the ice water pitchers and fine crystal glasses along with floral arrangements. There may have to be some dusting and vacuuming to put the final touches on this backdrop for TV cameras. You said you wanted to get involved and have a part, well, here is your chance.

We will have a representative from the Office of Management and Budget to provide technical assistance such as, telling us that regardless of what we decide on health care reform, it will be possible to fund this monstrosity without incurring deficits as big as, well, as big as big can be.

The Congressional Budget Office and the Joint Committee on Taxation will also be in attendance and make suggestions on how much we can tax Americans and get away with it for this health reform bill, lovingly called by voters a”house of cards.” Voters are so cynic, and I don't know where they get that from?

In addition to the President, attending and participating on behalf of the Administration will be the Vice President-Joe Biden who we promise to gag and tie down to a chair in another room so as not to embarrass our beloved President with stupid and off the cuff remarks,

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, and Nancy-Ann DeParle, Director of the Office of Health Reform will be there to overrule and shoot down any suggestions of austerity that Republicans may come up with.

The President will offer opening remarks that will last about an hour and a half at the beginning of the meeting, followed by remarks from the Republican minority leader of the house with a 1 minute time limit.

The President will then open and moderate discussion on four critical topics: insurance reforms, cost containment, expanding coverage, and the impact health reform legislation will have on deficit reduction.

During this time, all 3 cameras will be focused on him and no one else. He will be using teleprompters the entire meeting so please do not distract him or break his concentration as he reads his opening remarks.

As the President said earlier this week:

He is looking forward to a soft ball debate with our party only. We want to make sure that a welfare program this large is carefully guarded against abuse and fraud unlike Medicare which is losing 60-80 billion dollars a year to just fraud and abuse.

For every dollar we collect we believe that we can apply .18 cents to health care reform. .82 cents of every dollar will be effectively used in the administration and miscellaneous expenses we may incur while facilitating this program. Out of the .82 cents we hope to keep fraud and abuse down to .38 cents out of the .82 cents collected.

Does it bring down costs for all Americans as well as for the Federal Government? In reality, no. Most Americans will be looking for jobs or trying to keep the ones they have, rather than what we are doing up here in Washington. Taxpayers, for years, have had an attitude towards Washington of "you guys handle it, we trust you, and know that you will send us the bill in the form of higher taxes."

Does it help us get on a path of fiscal sustainability? Only on paper, but that is not what matters most. Our good intentions is all that matters. It is the Democrat Party Mantra. We arethe party that cares, regardless of cost and feasibility.

Stupid, ignorant, and undereducated American people will never know the difference, they are not elitists like we are. They need us more than we need them.

These are priorities that we all share, and the President is looking forward to examining with you and your colleagues how we can best screw the American people once again out of their money.

Sincerely,

Rahm Emanuel

Pit viper in charge